Editor's Note: While we can't endorse what X has become, we can bring you the fun moments that still exist there, curated and free of the surrounding chaos.
Well, folks, I can't say I'm surprised — Monday has returned again to torment us. I've got a new plan, though: I'm going to reach out to Merriam-Webster and see if we can get a small one-letter change to its name. We'll call it: "Nonday." And then it can't exist, right? Because it's not a day? Yeah, I think it's pretty genius, too. While I wait for the dictionary itself to get back to me, at least we've got these 27 hilarious fails from last week to get us through:
1.You'll need to wait five to seven business days to confirm you aren't turned into a newt.
2.But there's NO CRUST to begin with!
3.Well, that's one way to get revenge.
4.The emphasis on the "love" put into the pesto is really making me uncomfortable.
5.That's enough boba for one day.
6.I believe this is now savory oatmeal.
7.A robot telling me to calm down is only going to make things worse.
8.Would you like some cheese with your chili spaghetti?
9."Goodbye, goodbye. You were bigger than the whole sky."
10.The look on the doctor's face is not instilling confidence.
11.Did the cran get left behind when the plane took off?
12.Ah, yes. The absolute icon Audrey Hepbrm.
13.And her days have been great, it seems.
14.At least a cut to the finger is how you found out.
15.I believe some pertinent information was withheld about 12 months ago...
16.The most recent trauma is filling out this form.
17.I hope you brought enough crusts for both of us.
18.Hey, look, I'm also dying...of thirst, that is.
19.Yeah, good idea! Let me just text her.
20.The final boss of the "landlord special."
21."Some strange cat came in and pulled all the TP off the roll. I chased them away, though, that's why they're not here."
22.The true meaning of the quote, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
23.Do they make a gluten-free version of this bag?
24.Now we're all going to learn just how left-handed I am in about 30 seconds.
25.Vito Catleone.
26."Do you, as a large language model, take thee to be your wedded wife?"
27.And finally, having that gas tank inside will take you to your final destination.
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