We couldn’t possibly show you all the awfulness of the annual Concours d’Lemons at Pebble—your system couldn’t take it. So we curated a collection of the worst of the worst. Head Gasket Alain Galbraith’s whimsical anti-Pebble started 14 years ago and we’ve been to every single one of them since. What is wrong with us?
2000 Mercedes-Benz S500, Sort Of
Kevin McMasters has used this creation to run in four Gambler 500s, the off-road rally for crazy people. It's a 2000 S500 that he raised two inches and then added larger wheels and tires.
Only problem?
"The suspension keeps trying to level the car when you're off road. You've gotta think ahead and use your momentum."
Good advice for any situation.
1983 Mercedes-Benz 407D
This one started life as a German ambulance.
"It still has the siren in it," said owner Greg Deye.
He got it in Kentucky.
"It broke down next to my dad's house."
He bought it nine years ago, fixed the four-cylinder diesel, and converted it to a camper. Now he and his family go camping in it all the time. In the back is a table and bench seats that convert to a queen-sized bed. The kids get their own bunks that attach to the walls. The front half has two-row seating for all five Deyes.
This is the family you hope camps next to you.
1963 Mercury Monterey
The Aragon brothers, Nolan and Travis, learned how to fix cars from their dad, who, they said, really enjoyed working on the family's '36 Ford pickup. That enthusiasm caught on and, after an upbringing that included racing go-karts, the boys have focused some of their talents on this fabulous Mercury.
"A friend had it in Bakersfield and said, 'We'd really like to find a good home for it," said Nolan. Or maybe it was Travis.
It just took a little work on the fuel system, electrical, and the dash, which they redid in stellar fashion. Otherwise, it was in top shape.
"Once fuel got to the engine, it fired right up," one of them said.
1986 Suzuki Samurai
A friend of Samurai owner Jake Cartwright had rolled this tiny SUV, damaging the roof and popping out the windshield.
"So I bought it," said Cartwright.
He put in a new, plexiglass windshield, along with a GM starter, Toyota power steering, and 33-inch tires. He figures the 1.3-liter four-cylinder engine is making "40-ish" hp.
The best part? Girlfriend/potential fiance Sophia Bruno not only puts up with all this, she seems to enjoy it.
"Marry that girl," we said.
He showed the promise rings they both sport. We want to attend the wedding. With this rig, they could hold the ceremony on the Rubicon Trail.
Daimler SP-250
It's still not clear what the Daimler Company was thinking when it manufactured the SP-250 from 1959 to '64. The tailfins are about as big as the car, but the car is very small. Proportions are whack, which makes it perfect for Lemons.
Owner John Moulton seems to be aware of the irony.
1974 Ford Maverick Grabber
Oh how far the automobile has come in these last 50 years. This was once considered a "good" car. Well, not good, but it was all the typical entry-level buyer could hope for in the Malaise Era.
The Grabber was an actual model of the Maverick. An ad on the dashboard of Dane Riggo's car shows high school students gathered around a Grabber with the words, "Ideal for the driver with a little sport in mind." There are cheerleaders in the ad.
It also promised, "Plenty of visual clout."
"No two ways about it, the Grabber looks like fun," the ad said. But was it really fun?
What's This?
It appeared to be three carnival rides bolted to a platform/chassis with wheels underneath. Looks like it'd be fun, fun, fun!
Wollard Galaxy Glider
Owner and builder Chris Wollard lists the model year for this hyper cruiser as "2525." There was no apprent engine, though the passenger side had pedals. Probably powered by dilithium crystals. Or crystal meth.
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