Kaitlyn Bristowe and Colton Underwood Recall Losing Their Virginity: 'Nobody Told Me It Was Going to Be Terrible' (Exclusive)

NEED TO KNOW

• Colton Underwood and Kaitlyn Bristowe tell PEOPLE about losing their virginity as they gear up for the series debut of Hulu's virgin dating show Are You My First? on Aug. 18

• While Bristowe recalls having "misconceptions" about sex, Underwood reveals he had a "complicated" experience being known as a virgin on TV before coming out as gay

• Underwood also reveals that his admission about being a virgin aired on The Bachelorette before he could tell his friends or family himself

They say you never forget your first!

Ahead of the series premiere of Are You My First?, Hulu’s new dating series featuring a cast of all virgins, hosts Colton Underwood and Kaitlyn Bristowe are thinking back to when they were in the same position.

Bristowe, 40, tells PEOPLE that she had an entirely different idea of sex before she lost her virginity, so she wanted to help contestants on the show set realistic expectations.

“My misconception was that it was going to be romantic and beautiful and we were going to cry and have a cigarette after — I don't know,” she laughs. “I just saw what I saw in the movies. Then I was like, ‘Oh my God, that was terrible.’ And we need to talk about this more about people's first times. Maddie on our show said, ‘Penises are scary.’ And I'm like, ‘I agree. It's scary.’ So I feel like that was a misconception. Nobody told me it was going to be terrible.”

Underwood, 33, was known for being a virgin during his time on Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette, and his subsequent run as the season 23 Bachelor.

At that time, he had not yet come out as a gay man, which he says made that part of his life “very, very layered and complicated.”

“I think there was a lot of shame, and just for me, just this guilt that you have, especially when you're closeted and really struggling with your sexuality,” he shares. “And I think that is also why I love a show like [Are You My First?] where it's sort of giving them the permission to be patient with themselves and with one another and allowing them that space.”

He also reveals that he hadn’t told anyone that he was a virgin before he said it on TV, and the news ended up getting out before he could share it himself.

“I don't know if I've ever publicly shared this, but the first time, when I went on The Bachelorette, I had this whole plan,” he explains. “We had a launch party for the show at my dad's house, and I was like, ‘Okay, at some point before episode six, I have to tell them I'm a virgin,’ because I remembered I told Becca.”

“We're all gathered there and they play a supertease at the beginning of the season that talks about me being a virgin,” he recalls. “And that's how my family and my friends found out I was a virgin, is because it was on the super tease.”

While it was awkward in the moment, Underwood admits that he was relieved to know he no longer had to anticipate how he was going to tell everyone.

“Honestly, it was a better way for me just to rip the band-aid off instead of having so many conversations with my family and friends,” he adds.

Bristowe notes that Underwood being a virgin became a “highlight reel” on The Bachelor franchise, which added stress that the contestants on Are You My First? didn’t have to deal with.

“I think what helped this group of humans was the fact that they didn't have to admit anything,” she says. “They already knew they were going in as virgins and surrounded by other people who shared that same title or value as them. And so it kind of took away that intimidating factor of like, ‘Oh my gosh, am I going to have to tell them? When do I tell them?’”

“Nobody had to hide behind that or be shameful of it,” she continues. “They all kind of bonded over it.”

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Underwood agrees, reflecting on the reactions he would get when he used to tell people he was dating that he hadn’t had sex with anyone before.

“I've sat there in front of girls when I had to say, ‘Hey, I'm a virgin,’” he says. “You could just sort of see them thinking through like, ‘Okay, this changes the dynamic. There's a lot of pressure in this. It's a responsibility that I'm going to hold being his first. Is he ready? Is he not?’ So to have that, what Kaitlyn was saying, to have that shared thing in common is really powerful and just helps with confidence.”

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Are You My First? premieres Monday, Aug. 18 on Hulu.

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