From retro pickup trucks to extravagant Rolls-Royces, here’s what we think characters in The Witcher would trade their steeds for if they could.
If Netflix’s TV adaptation of The Witcher is popular in your house, it’s probably the subject of debate: Which is better, the books, the games or the series? If you’re in my house, though, the discussion is about which cars the main characters would drive—if they drove cars, which of course, they don’t.
The books and series didn’t have an exact timeline, but seems set in medieval times because the characters ride horses, similarly to characters in Game of Thrones. But like GOT, that didn’t stop us from surmising which cars these characters would drive, why they would pick them and how each would illustrate his or her character through their choice of ride.
You might be surprised by some of my picks, or like my husband, tell me I’m flat-out wrong, but I promise I’ll explain.
This story is 100% human-researched and written based on actual first-person knowledge, extensive experience, and expertise on the subject of cars and trucks.
We’ll Start with the Star: Geralt of Rivia? More Like Geralt of Yota
The Witcher’s leading star, Geralt of Rivia, being a chemically altered and emotionally void Witcher, is usually stoic, surefooted, and just wants to get the job done. He’s not a fan of wasting time or getting involved in people’s drama. Therefore, he needs something reliable, easy to maintain, relatively efficient, and room to haul his hunting trophies—to sell them to the highest bidder, of course.
That’s why I could easily see him pulling into Kaer Morhen in a beat-up 1980s Toyota pickup truck like the one Marty McFly drove, but in worse condition. He doesn’t care about how it looks–it just needs to run and quickly and reliably get him where he needs to go, like his loyal steed, Roach.
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The Witcher’s Yennefer of Vengerberg Would Roll Up in a Rolls-Royce
Yenn uses magic to enhance her beauty for one reason: to draw attention. After a life of horrible mistreatment and feeling unattractive due to her deformities as a child, now that she’s got the looks that were out of reach for her as a kid, she needs a car to complement her regal femininity; therefore, The Witcher’s most powerful sorceress would drive a Rolls-Royce Black Badge Spectre in Vapour Violet, to match her violet eyes and hunger to be admired.
The interior would be black leather–black exudes authority, of course–with violet accents. She’d get looks everywhere she went, which is exactly what she’d want, despite Geralt’s hatred for attention.
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Triss Merigold Wants a Car as Powerful and Capable as Her: a Jeep Wrangler
Triss Merigold is a powerful sorceress who wears many hats and can be anywhere at any time to complete any task (especially if it’s Geralt or Ciri asking her for help). Therefore, she’d need a car that can match her get-up-and-go-anywhere attitude, like a Jeep Wrangler Rubicon, preferably the 392 HEMI version with a bright red paint job, since she adores the color red (or any flashy color, really–so she likely wouldn’t turn down Tuscadero Pink, either). If we were doing The Witcher’s game version of Triss, her Jeep would be orange.
Since it would be able to keep up with Geralt’s ol’ reliable Toyota off-road while Yennefer’s Rolls-Royce couldn’t, she’d love it even more.
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Ciri Needs Something to Match Her Bold, Tough Personality
Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, unlike her powerful guardians, was not born into the world of magic. In both the video game and book series of The Witcher, she was the sole princess of Cintra, but was raised being told she was meant to be a Witcher after Geralt lifted her father’s curse before she was born. When she met Geralt, he tried to erase her memories with a potion to spare her from the horrific trials of becoming a Witcher. Still, her willpower (and dormant magical powers) resisted it–and she stuck to Geralt like glue, eager to fulfill her destiny.
Fans of the books, video games, and TV show know that Ciri is a certified baddie, thanks to her intense training from Geralt, Yenn, and Triss, and her stubborn ability to push through and conquer any obstacle.
Because there’s nothing Ciri can’t do, she needs a car that can handle her strength and grace. So, I think she’d drive a Mercedes G-Wagen, as it combines the best of what Geralt, Yenn, and Ciri drive. Capable, strong, yet incredibly stylish and charismatic.
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Dandelion Would Drive Something Equally Obnoxious, but Endearing
Dandelion the Bard is Sapkowski’s way to break up the tension and drama in the series with some humor. Dandelion, unlike the general public, adored the fact that Geralt was a Witcher because it made for great songwriting material, and ended up being one of Geralt’s dearest friends.
But, as every character in Sapkowski’s universe agrees, Dandelion is obnoxious, though he is reliable, faithful, and endearing. Therefore, he’d drive something reminiscent of a clown car, like a bright red Toyota Yaris.
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Vesemir is the Group’s Strongest Pillar of Strength
Vesemir is Geralt’s oldest friend and one of the wisest in the School of the Wolf. Despite him being a combat-worn veteran Witcher who’s lived through and seen terrible crimes against humanity, he has a soft spot for Geralt, Yennefer, and Triss–even helping train Ciri, who he took under his wing almost immediately.
Because he can endure while staying soft for those he loves, he’d need something like a 1970s Chevy Blazer–kind of like a grizzled, leather-faced Sheriff who everyone leans on during times of great need for protection, wisdom, pep talks, and, of course, battle strategies.
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Eskel is Thoughtful and Kind With a Sense of Adventure
Eskel never became as famous as Geralt, but he’s just as talented, reliable, and effective. There are several stories (that he likely embellished a little) of him doing great, heroic deeds as a Witcher. He and Geralt are like brothers, and he’s sort of an uncle to Ciri, so it would make sense he’d drive something similar to Geralt, though a bit more on the comfortable, luxurious side, as he enjoys spending his time flirting, galavanting, and partying when he doesn’t have contracts to kill dangerous creatures endangering the local villages.
Because he has one foot in two very different worlds, I could see him driving a Lexus GX 550–since he needs something capable, but needs to be able to impress his weekend lovers, too.
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